Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Going to Meet Mother

The following is an obvious allegory of faith in God and confidence in life after death in addition to the metaphor of a baby's introduction to life and its mother's arm. Yet, to me, it strikes a different chord. That of my desire to connect with my Heavenly Mother.

Spirit Twins

Imagine this scene if you will.

Two babies are in utero confined to the wall of their mother’s womb, and they are having a conversation. For the sake of clarity we’ll call these twins Ego and Spirit.

Spirit says to Ego, “I know you are going to find this difficult to accept, but I truly believe there is life after birth.”

Ego responds, “Don’t be ridiculous. Look around you. This is all there is. Why must you always be thinking about something beyond this reality? Accept your lot in life. Make yourself comfortable and forget about all this life-after-birth nonsense.”

Spirit quiets down for a while, but her inner voice won’t allow her to remain silent any longer. “Ego, now don’t get mad, but I have something else to say. I also believe that there is a Mother.”

“A Mother!” Ego guffaws. “How can you be so absurd? You’ve never seen a Mother. Why can’t you accept that this is all there is? The idea of a Mother is crazy. You are here alone with me. This is your reality. Now grab hold of that cord. Go into your corner and stop being so silly. Trust me, there is no Mother.”

Spirit reluctantly stops her conversation with Ego, but her restlessness soon gets the better of her. “Ego,” she implores, “please listen without rejecting
my idea. Somehow I think that those constant pressures we both feel, those movements that make us so uncomfortable at times, that continual repositioning and all of that closing in that seems to be taking place as we keep growing, is getting us ready for a place of glowing light, and we will experience it very soon.”

“Now I know you are absolutely insane,” replies Ego. “All you’ve ever known is darkness. You’ve never seen the light. How can you even contemplate such an idea? Those movements and pressures you feel are your reality. You are a distinct separate being. This is your journey and you’re on your own. Darkness and pressures and a closed-in feeling are what life is all about. You’ll have to fight it as long as you live. Now grab your cord and please stay still.

Spirit relaxes for a while, but finally she can contain herself no longer. “Ego, I have only one more thing to say, and then I’ll never bother you again.”

“Go ahead,” Ego responds impatiently.

“I believe all of these pressures and all of this discomfort is not only going to bring us to a new celestial light, but when we experience it, we are going to meet Mother face-to-face and know an ecstasy that is beyond anything we have ever experienced up until now.”

“You really are crazy, Spirit. Now I’m truly convinced of it.”

-by Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest, theologian and writer. This text was included by Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book “Your Sacred Self”

As much as I look forward to being reunited with my deceased loved ones, and to meet my ancestors whom I never met, I have a greater desire to feel the comforting arms of my Father's hug. However, I feel a great deal of closeness to my Father in Heaven because I know him as well as I do. My conversations with God are open, consistent and at times constant and the communications in response so familiar that its merely curiosity that leads me to want to see God. On the other hand, I do not have the familiarity with my Mother in Heaven and so it is to meet her, and to understand her nature that propels me forward.

Up until recently, my desire to know Heavenly Mother was an intellectual pursuit but as I have studied what is known and not known about her and consequently encountered the barriers to knowing her, it has become a more emotional, primal need. Perhaps it was the impassioned poetry of Carol Lynn Pearson's "Mother Wove the Morning" and other emotional treatises on the necessity of divine womanhood to the people of the earth. It is true that my emotional response is being stirred up by the emotions of others, and yet, even independently, how long would I stay reserved and patient given the frustration of seeking and not being able to find?

Can this allegory provide a hopeful thought that can help us look forward to the time in faith, confidence and cheerfulness when we will meet Mother face-to-face? Or does that hope also lend to the frustration of being kept from her?


cc said...

Thank you for sharing that story. It actually helps me to see parts of what Heavenly Mother might be or the role she might play differently. And in struggling and searching for peace on the matter, this is comforting.

I'm not at the point of seeking Her personally yet. I think I'm too afraid of not finding Her, or just not getting the response I need. I guess I figure I need to reconcile with HF first so as to avoid the whole "going to one parent because you didn't get the response you wanted from the first" problem. I know I don't like it when my own children do that, and I don't want to fall into having a relationship with only one side as I do with my earthly parents. I'm still very much in limbo on the topic, but thank you for adding a more emotional dimension to it for me.

Jenne said...

CC, I've tried to avoid the emotional dimension to it in the past, I think, because of the cultural stigma that its just not okay to be discontent with what we have. Women and men in the church are not supposed to have an emotional investment or desire to understand things that aren't currently revealed. Before we give ourselves permission to feel strongly about wanting to know greater revealed truth, we have to first admit that its okay to have a desire for it. And in the church today, there is not an effort to gain more understanding that what is taught. Those who are making efforts to do so can get pretty frustrated and disillusioned. In a way, not having strong emotions is a way to protect one from becoming frustrated or hurt. Its a difficult situation to try to cope with.