Connecting with the Sacred Feminine

The world of feminist Mormons has been provoking me lately. At The Exponent there has been some recent discussion/critiques of mainstream LDS theology and practice over the lack of information regarding Heavenly Mother.

The two most explicit references to Heavenly Mother are found is The Family: A Proclamation to the World and the hymn Oh My Father.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents,

In the heav’ns are parents single?
No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal
Tells me I’ve a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence,
When I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you
In your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I’ve completed
All you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation
Let me come and dwell with you.

Beyond that I haven't seen or read much on the topic of Heavenly Mother. She has been a topic of conversation frequently but all of it must remain speculation without more authoritative information.

I enjoy the speculation so I posted a response to this blog entry which speculates on why Latter-day Saints are not "allowed" to pray to Heavenly Mother. The comments are thought provoking and interesting.

Here is my response:

The speculation that my husband and I favor is that yes, each of us has a Heavenly Mother, but we all don’t have the same one. If polygamy is an eternal law, and one is trying to maximize reproduction of even spirit children, it stands to reason that Heavenly Father has multiple wives to whom he is sealed.
Also, on the ability to connect with our specific Heavenly Mother whether she is one of many or just one, I found comfort in a quote from Joseph Smith (of course, I can’t find the specific quote at this time) where he described it being okay to talk to beings who are not on this earth (living or dead).
After the death of a number of people close to me, I found myself turning in my prayers from a prayer to Heavenly Father, to a conversation with a loved one. I never knew if it was “right” or not, but its what I felt impressed to do. I got confirmation of that after reading the quote I’m referencing. It was okay to talk to the dead, knowing that they can listen and know what our hearts and spirits want them to know. If it can work for deceased loved ones and friends, why wouldn’t it work to talk to our Mother in Heaven?
Its not a prayer because prayer requires worship. When I talk to my father who is deceased, I’m not worshiping him but talking to him as if he were still here. My worship still squarely focuses on the God who I’m commanded and covenanted to worship.

The question that still remains for me is the appropriateness of worshipping a being other than my Father in Heaven (see my post on his perfect mothering attributes here). I will also try to unearth that quote. I think it might be recorded in my journal but journals don't have nifty search features (hence why I switched to a blog).

I had similar thoughts about my connection with Jesus. I have such a strong belief and connection to God the Father because I talk to him all the time. I feel like I know him through my prayers and the answers from the Spirit I have gotten in response to those prayers, and from priesthood blessings. Jesus, on the other hand, I do not pray to but he is my brother and my Savior. He knows me in such a perfect way because of the atonement. He knows all of my suffering and sorrow. Heavenly Father knows me perfectly but Jesus knows me too. I want to feel that I know him like I know Heavenly Father as well and by extension how I would also like to know my Mother in Heaven.

New Scriptures to Memorize

I succeeded in memorizing the Desiderata and now I'm moving on.

Next, I will work on Mosiah 4:14-15

14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the devil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.
15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

This is what I want for my children and as a mother, I especially need this guidance because I was an only child so I have no frame of reference for teaching children to be siblings because I never was one. And also it gives some of the most specific guidance to parents in the scriptures and since I also have no frame of reference for parents teaching young children gospel truths, I rely heavily on the scriptures to teach me what I should do as a LDS parent.

Which leads me to the next scripture, I want to memorize: 2 Nephi 32:2

3 Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.

I toyed with the idea of memorizing The Family: A Proclamation to the World, but like as an Institute and BYU student, I chickened out. Perhaps memorizing the most personally salient paragraphs to me would be a good starting point. Those paragraphs would be:

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

The Desiderata

I was raised by parents who grew up in California in the 1960's, and a parent who attended Berkeley at the height of the hippy movement in 1968, so its no surprise that the Desiderata was displayed on the wall in our home. Growing up, I was impressed by the simple wisdom of its words, and how the truth contained in that document could guide my family for good. Later when my father passed away, my mother and I felt it was very fitting to print the text on the back of his memorial service program. It is my new project to memorize it in its entirety. I'm doing pretty well so far.

This means of course that I was successful in memorizing Doctrine and Covenants 121:42-45. I feel that these two spiritual thoughts are connected, in this way:

Both offer guidance for interacting with others in many life situations: parenting, marriage, peers, business associates, advocacy efforts. It is these situations that I encounter most frequently, and where I feel that I need to improve. There is much I want to accomplish and it almost always requires cooperating with others to accomplish that goal. I need this direction most, I believe, in my parenting as I strive to treat my children with love and kindness and teach them the lessons that are important in life.

Of course, as I lament frequently, getting advice and direction on what to do in any given situation is easier than finding the "how-to." The How to is so often situation specific, nuanced and subtle that the how to much be felt out and be personal to the one figuring it out. I pray frequently to have the insights to do just that.

Honor thy father and thy mother

Exodus 20:12
"12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."

So would the converse of that be:

If you don't honor your father and mother, your days won't be long upon the land??

Is this a case for filicide?

Happy Re-birthday to Me!

For our Family Home Evening tonight, I decided we would celebrate as a family my baptism 8 years ago tomorrow. It was the first time that I told Willem about my conversion story (in very simplified language). My message was basically: "I know Heavenly Father in my father in heaven, and that he loves me. For a long time, I didn't know that. And there was a time I was really sad and Heavenly Father helped me feel better and because of that I decided to live his commandments and do what he told me was right. So I got baptized. Do you know what baptism is? Its when I went all the way under the water when a man said "I baptize you...." and when I came out I was clean and was given a new life to live. Its how I promised Heavenly Father that I would do what he wants me to do. When you are eight years old, you can get baptized too if you want to and you can promise the same thing to Heavenly Father. "

Willem's response, well interruptions:

"Heavenly Father is you dad? I know Heavenly Father is my dad too."

"I know Heavenly Father loves me too!"

"When I was baptized, I was washed-ed!"

When we asked him how old he would be when he gets baptized he said "Eight!"

Even a two year old can testify of the truthfulness of certain aspects of the gospel. I am amazed and joyful to see him beginning to understand some of those basic and profound truths.

Reproving Betimes with Sharpness

The scripture that has offered me the most day-to-day guidance in my life is D&C 121: 41-44. Although it may be the recipe for properly using priesthood authority, I also view it as the proper behavior for parenting. Perhaps, the role of mother is actually an office of the priesthood too?

The topic of guidance and discipline is one of the hardest for me to implement with a typical 2 year old. The scripture provides insight in how to do so yet I have been most confused by how does one "reprov[e] betimes with sharpness?" The footnote offers some more clarity (how's that for a pun) as it states that sharpness in this case refers more to the concept of clarity used in photography. The opposite of clarity in that sense is blur. When reproving, the directions we give or chastising ought not to be unclear, muddy or incomprehensible.

I have tried to do this in my parenting and I'm pleased to report a success it in. Like usual, the two year old and I were struggling about naptime. He doesn't like but he needs it. That day I was able to gently, without getting frustrated or losing patience, get him to his room for a nap and clearly stated the purpose of his time in there. When he awoke (or when a sufficient time had passed and I heard him making noise again), I greeted him. We talked briefly and he happily got up to continue his play. As I walked down the stairs behind him, I wondered, "Did I do the scripture? Did I reprove with sharpness (clarity) without maintaining power by the virtue of my status as "the parent? And then show an increase of love?" I felt the comforting assurance from the Spirit that I had. I need to feel that more often in relation to my efforts at parenting.

That experience has led me to want to memorize that scripture. Here I am going to attempt to state it from memory and as I continue to work on it, hopefully there will be some improvement.

Oct 6, 1am:
"No power or dominion ought to be maintained by the power of the priesthood, only by persuasion, gentleness, meekness and love unfeigned. Reproving betimes with sharpness and afterwards showing an increase in love."

--Close, but missing verse 42 and 44 completely.

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by the virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned; by kindness and pure knowledge that greatly enlargeth the soul without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the power of the Holy Ghost and afterwards showing forth an increase in love so he does not esteem thee as his enemy."

--Still missing verse 44. Missing long suffering, without hypocrisy, and to him you have reproved.



















Oct 7 11:04 pm (I found I need to create blank space between so I can't see the previous attempt)
"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by the virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by gentleness and meekness and by love unfeigned. By kindness and by pure truth without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness and showing afterward an increase of love to him who you have reproved so he does not esteem thee to he his enemy, but that you will be faithful until the end of your days."





11:20 pm
"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by the virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by gentleness and meekness and by love unfeigned. By kindness and pure knowledge which doth greatly enlarge the soul with _______ and without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness, being moved upon by the Holy Ghost and afterwards showing forth an increase of love to him who have reproved so he doth not esteem thee to be his enemy so that he may know that they faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."

Closer, I'll try again tomorrow night.

Oct 9
I think I have it:
"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by the virtue of the priesthood, but only be persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness and love unfeigned. By kindness and pure knowledge which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy and without guile. Reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the Holy Ghost and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love to him {whom} thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy {-so} that he may know thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."

Missing one word and adding another. Not too bad. Should I also work on memorizing the correct punctuation? Maybe tomorrow night.

Mormons and Social Justice...in the same sentence!?

Hallelujah!

Mormons for Equality and Social Justice

I was raised Unitarian Universalist, and still have a fondness for the true and gospelly-sound principles found in that theological system. The UUs are very involved with social justice concerns. That sense of social awareness never left me as a converted to LDS theology. In fact, my desire to help others and my "love of God and for all men" was increased. So I got all excited about the good that Latter-day Saints could do with the impressive resources of the Church on social justice issues. And then I got confused because I didn't see it happening. Sure, I knew that some LDS somewhere were engaged in certain social justice issues. But as an activist I know that there is strength in numbers, that people cooperating and working together in a common cause is more effective than individuals working separately.


So glad to come across MESJ. I hope there will be others around me that I can connect with. I'll likely be posting more about this exciting line of involvement.