My faith has been strengthened by my son's birth that was so traumatic for me. First I quickly realized that my experience giving birth, and the PTSD that followed was another period of adversity in my life.
I have found that generally when I make a momentous, good decision that some difficult adversity comes along to try to mess it up. I realized quickly that this was another one of those times in my life. By becoming a mother, I probably did the most important thing I'll do in my life; with the most potential to really make a difference in the world. I became responsible for a human life, and ultimately to give him the shape and direction that he needs to become a good person. One time somebody taught me that Satan doesn't try and tempt those who are aren't trying to live God's law. Satan doesn't have to try with them because they're already doing what he wants. On the other hand, those who are striving and doing right and good things with their lives, he going to work hardest on them and try to destroy and interfere with their efforts. I recognized that was occurring to me. I tend to get mad at Satan when I realize that's happening because there's no way I'm going to let the enemy of righteousness do that to me. I know its not my Father in Heaven doing it to me, but the influence of evil and the intent to cause sadness in the world.
I see Satan try to use maternity care to abuse and traumatize mothers. Providers so commonly violate a mother's right to give permission to what people are doing to her body, she is manipulated, coerced, threatened and ignored when she tries to stop it. I even see inappropriate and unnecessary use of technology and intervention during birth as "trusting in the arm of flesh" instead of trusting in God's creation and the body's ability to birth a baby safely. Interfering with the process of childbirth is, how I see it, another way that Satan interferes in the happy and healthy development of families. Families are of the utmost importance to the development and well-being of children. Heavenly Father created families because he knew thats what benefits children most--no other societal organization can do what parents do. Satan would love nothing more than to see mothers so traumatized that they commit suicide, or divorce their partners or abuse their children or fail to form healthy attachment to their children. He most especially doesn't want more people born into the world so he tries to scare mothers away from having more children.
Because I believe that God and Jesus "know the end from the beginning" I know that they know what I'm experiencing and how emotionally damaging that birth was for me. They know the wrongs committed by the staff people and understand better than I do the injustice inherent in the system. I don't believe they safe us from all suffering because everyone has their free will. There will always be people who choose to wield power in an abusive and destructive way. I was a victim of that and because I experienced it I learned that traumatic birth experiences are another destructive attack on families and God's children. I probably wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me.
But now that I have experienced it and suffered it and know it, I have 1) gained that knowledge, 2) developed empathy and compassion for mothers who have experienced similar trauma, as well as anyone who has been abused, or traumatized by a life event, 3) become more sensitive as a parent because I try not to force physically or manipulate my children when teaching them because I know how awful it feels and 4) realize that I have the opportunity to do something about it (obsessively, actually, a side effect of the PTSD). When I was seeking help in dealing with my experience, I didn't find the resources I felt I needed. But then I felt led in my searching to meet the founder of Solace, and Jennica and together we created this discussion board and are developing Solace as a advocacy and support organization for birth trauma. I believe that there is good coming out of it because it is a comfort for other mothers who have experienced birth trauma. In that way, my experience has and can help others.
I have grown very much from the experience. Not only are my work skills being improved because I'm learning how to direct a non-profit, but I've learned about the process of birth. I believe that the human body was originally created to work flawlessly. Since the introduction of less than perfect circumstance with the Fall of Adam, the body doesn't work perfectly all the time, but it works most of the time. And it works best when we trust in it and let nature do what its meant to do WITHOUT the interference of others (I think of Proverbs 3:4). Sometimes HF will guide us to those who have the skills to intervene when the process derails, but the people with those skills tend to over-inflate their value and necessity. I learned that HF wants me to take responsibility for my decisions and trust Him first and then let him guide me to know when to make use of man's knowledge and expertise. Just as any tool, it can be misused.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Freedom of days
A member of the church, an MBA in accounting, started a business with some friends and it did unexpectedly well. When the business was sold, the man was able to retire. After a while of spending 8 hours a day on the gold course, he became bored with his retirement and wished that he could do something different. He went to his bishop and asked to get a list of ward members who had not been visited the month before. He dedicated his days to visiting members of his ward, often visiting families who had been visited by home teachers that month. He sought a job at BYU to teach accounting but wasn't hired because he didn't have the education required. By volunteering, instead of seeking payment, he taught at BYU. He later went on to become a mission president.
Doesn't everyone wish they could retire early and have the freedom to do whatever during the day? If you could have that situation, what would you do with your days?
My husband and I love to ask ourselves questions like this. There is so much we wish we could do in our lives and we often feel limited by financial responsibilities and of course financial resources. We're a young student family so it comes as no surprise.
If that could happen for our family, my husband would love to spend as much as time as possible with me and our children at home. He would do a great deal of woodworking with the tools he's collected in the last few years. We would go on many day trips in our area to go hiking because we get sick of being at home. We live in a beautiful area of Washington where its easy to drive for a couple of hours and then explore some amazing places. We have this dream that we could homeschool our children and the world would be our classroom.
Want to learn about castles? Off to Europe.
Learning about the forest? Go camping for two weeks in the forest.
Hike, backpack, travel, camp.
That would be our life for a few years.
Then we would probably settle on an homestead property, grow and raise our own food and medicines. My husband would go back to his woodworking and photography. I would go to school and get my PhD. My husband might try to make some money by selling his arts. I would be practice in a community or ward as a midwife and general wise woman. I might run for public office and put my education in family studies and public policy to use as a decision maker in government.
Maybe we would adopt. We would certainly contribute and volunteer for organizations that teach family values to children and young adults, that address social issues that distress families. Likely our travels would be in conjunction with humanitarian efforts like Habitat for Humanity and other international community building non-profits. We'd likely volunteer to work in the temple or perform church service wherever we live.
When our children went to college, my husband and I would serve missions for the church. We dream of being missionaries in Nauvoo, church campsites and properties, humanitarian and family history missions. We'd pretty much be excited to go anywhere and hope that we would have opportunities to put our skills, knowledge, education and passions put to work.
One thing I love about my husband is that he is happy to stay home and care for our children an equal amount while I pursue personal development and social service opportunities. Its his professional development that is keeping him from doing that now and will likely keep him from doing much of that in the future but we hope that once he is settled in his career that he will have a flexible enough schedule where that could work for us. He's pretty adamant, however, that he never wants me to run for public office because he doesn't want to deal with the public life. I don't blame him...
Doesn't everyone wish they could retire early and have the freedom to do whatever during the day? If you could have that situation, what would you do with your days?
My husband and I love to ask ourselves questions like this. There is so much we wish we could do in our lives and we often feel limited by financial responsibilities and of course financial resources. We're a young student family so it comes as no surprise.
If that could happen for our family, my husband would love to spend as much as time as possible with me and our children at home. He would do a great deal of woodworking with the tools he's collected in the last few years. We would go on many day trips in our area to go hiking because we get sick of being at home. We live in a beautiful area of Washington where its easy to drive for a couple of hours and then explore some amazing places. We have this dream that we could homeschool our children and the world would be our classroom.
Want to learn about castles? Off to Europe.
Learning about the forest? Go camping for two weeks in the forest.
Hike, backpack, travel, camp.
That would be our life for a few years.
Then we would probably settle on an homestead property, grow and raise our own food and medicines. My husband would go back to his woodworking and photography. I would go to school and get my PhD. My husband might try to make some money by selling his arts. I would be practice in a community or ward as a midwife and general wise woman. I might run for public office and put my education in family studies and public policy to use as a decision maker in government.
Maybe we would adopt. We would certainly contribute and volunteer for organizations that teach family values to children and young adults, that address social issues that distress families. Likely our travels would be in conjunction with humanitarian efforts like Habitat for Humanity and other international community building non-profits. We'd likely volunteer to work in the temple or perform church service wherever we live.
When our children went to college, my husband and I would serve missions for the church. We dream of being missionaries in Nauvoo, church campsites and properties, humanitarian and family history missions. We'd pretty much be excited to go anywhere and hope that we would have opportunities to put our skills, knowledge, education and passions put to work.
One thing I love about my husband is that he is happy to stay home and care for our children an equal amount while I pursue personal development and social service opportunities. Its his professional development that is keeping him from doing that now and will likely keep him from doing much of that in the future but we hope that once he is settled in his career that he will have a flexible enough schedule where that could work for us. He's pretty adamant, however, that he never wants me to run for public office because he doesn't want to deal with the public life. I don't blame him...
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A hint of Mother and a New Life
Recently I blogged about praying to Heavenly Mother and how the clearest and most recent direction the LDS has received was from President Hinckley and his rationale for telling the Saints that they ought not to pray to Heavenly Mother was that there were no instances in the scriptures of Christ praying or preaching about Heavenly Mother.
I've already discussed the limitations of that rationale and today I found another bit of evidence that could refute that logic. In Carol Lynn Pearson's chapter entitled "A Motherless House" she refers to apocryphal and gnostic gospels that evidently depict Christ expounding on the existence of Mother in Heaven. Perhaps these sources also cite Christ praying to his parents?
For course, now I would like to seek after these sources and find them for myself. In the early days of my blog, I read and reflected upon the Gospel of Mary Magdalene. I've been wanting to turn to the Apocrypha with the encouragement and warning of D&C 91.
For a few years I was feeling limited in my study of the scriptures to just the scriptures. I've overcome that by recognizing that a deeper understanding of the scriptures, after a certain point, pretty much only comes from researching the topics, history and ideas found in the scriptures. There is a tremendous amount of scholarly work on the scriptures both ancient and modern. My study of the scriptures have taken on new life and abundance through branching out. I'm just getting started too as I've only recently discovered Mormon intellectualism.
I've already discussed the limitations of that rationale and today I found another bit of evidence that could refute that logic. In Carol Lynn Pearson's chapter entitled "A Motherless House" she refers to apocryphal and gnostic gospels that evidently depict Christ expounding on the existence of Mother in Heaven. Perhaps these sources also cite Christ praying to his parents?
For course, now I would like to seek after these sources and find them for myself. In the early days of my blog, I read and reflected upon the Gospel of Mary Magdalene. I've been wanting to turn to the Apocrypha with the encouragement and warning of D&C 91.
For a few years I was feeling limited in my study of the scriptures to just the scriptures. I've overcome that by recognizing that a deeper understanding of the scriptures, after a certain point, pretty much only comes from researching the topics, history and ideas found in the scriptures. There is a tremendous amount of scholarly work on the scriptures both ancient and modern. My study of the scriptures have taken on new life and abundance through branching out. I'm just getting started too as I've only recently discovered Mormon intellectualism.
Embracing My Mormon Feminist Self
The personal revelation I receive in regard to what Heavenly Father wants from me in this life is contrary to the direction given by the church when it comes to what women, and mothers are supposed to do. I have been guided, counseled and strongly encouraged by the Spirit to pursue my education in spite of being a mother, in spite of having young children. I feel that I am being prepared for some out of the home employment in the future, though I will admit that I don't know if that is the case. At this point, I am preparing for that if it does end up being a reality and I feel prompted to be as qualified and prepared as I can be because it is better to be prepared and not need the preparation than need the preparation and not be prepared. Before becoming clear on what was expected of me, I was wholly prepared to make the sacrifices necessary to fit the description of the traditional, church approved Mormon woman. I was surprised, and scared even to find out that was not expected of me.
So for me, the prescribed gender roles do not fit and its not because there is something wrong with me, or that I am being led away by some false spirit but it is because Heavenly Father does not want those prescriptions to fit for me. It appears that he wants something else. I guess it would be wise to point out that maybe the only reason why He wants this for me is because he knows my weaknesses and failings as a mother. Maybe he knows I that will not thrive if he were to expect me to give my heart, mind and soul to the minute by minute duties of motherhood. And if that is the case, maybe he is working some magic and turning my weakness into a strength and that my strength will be to be whatever he wants me to be as a qualified person in my community in whatever post I'm being led to.
I know that I'm not the only woman in the church who is being led by God to do something different than what the church leaders are preaching so heavily over the pulpits. I'm not questioning that the ideal role of women is that they should be what the leaders of the church say. Maybe that is God's will for the majority of the women of the church. But I know that its not his will for me and for other people like me. When it comes down to following the leaders of the church, or following clear directions given by God, I choose to follow God's direction, knowing that even the church leaders give room for exceptions and believe that personal revelation trumps leader's direction (even commandments for that matter: think Lehi killing Laban). It appears to me that somehow, there will be some good, though maybe not as extreme as saving a whole nation from dwindling and perishing in unbelief, but that I will do something that Heavenly Father is wanting me to accomplish by being an "non-traditional" woman in the church.
It can be difficult to feel judged and scorned by fellow members of the church as I am doing all I can to follow God's will for me. I feel that people are judging me on outward appearances without knowing my heart or direction that I have been given that is specifically tailored to me and my situation. Because I feel this frustration, confusion, uncertainty, discomfort in the church based on my own experiences, I have gained empathy for the women of the church who have faced much more opposition, judgement, harshness that I have in regards to their choices to be the non-traditional Mormon woman.
Because I feel a disconnect between God's plan for me and what the church is telling me, I know that other women are struggling and suffering under the strain of trying to negotiate that gap. I'll say its for that reason why women's role in the church are something I feel like I need to address (and it helps that Heavenly Father has confirmed this is what he wants me to be doing). Its an attempt to protect myself from hostility that may be coming in the future, to help me feel more at home and accepted in the church and to provide those same comforts and assurances to other women in the church as well. '
In the new organizations, LDS WAVE (www.ldswave.org/our-mission) that I am more interested and concerned about the social justice activities. In the organization of roles for each member of the board, the social justice section has been assigned to me. Everyone here knows that is my passion and a major frustration I have with the church. We are told to be actively involved in our communities, we have a wealth of knowledge and information on addressing social issues which the Humanitarian efforts of the church do not address and then we are discouraged when we attempt to organize those efforts in our wards and Relief Societies. I have had to look outside the church to fulfill that desire and to follow that spiritual guidance and I'm hoping that through my efforts with WAVE that I will be able to combine my love and knowledge of the gospel with my desire to serve in social justice and women' issues.
I'm also very energized by the thought that we will be helping to further the aims of the church of preaching the gospel and perfecting the saints through hopefully attracting positive press and admiration for the women of the church who are following in the footsteps of Eliza R. Snow and Emmeline B. Wells and Zina Huntington Young; and showing the world and the women who are struggling in the church that Heavenly Father rejoices in women using their capabilities in broad applications that are not limited to motherhood and wifely duties.
There's a section of Proverbs that describes a woman doing just that: Proverbs 31:20-31 and many stories of women in the early days of the church in Utah did many of the same things. I don't understand why the women of today are not capable of having similar opportunities and blessings now. Reading the biographies of the Relief Society presidents was really inspiring. I am trying to emulate them and I feel that I am, with God's blessing and encouragement.
As I've gone along, I've also been amazed at how my family doesn't and hasn't suffered because of it. I know I'm trying to maintain a balancing act and I feel that with Heavenly Father's help, I've been able to do it so far (completing my master's and thesis while being a stay at home mom, being an organizer and volunteer for three time consuming non-profits, etc) and because I've been spiritually supported through all what I've experienced so far, I've gained confidence that my family and I will continue to have the help that we need to accomplish the goals of a healthy Mormon family.
So for me, the prescribed gender roles do not fit and its not because there is something wrong with me, or that I am being led away by some false spirit but it is because Heavenly Father does not want those prescriptions to fit for me. It appears that he wants something else. I guess it would be wise to point out that maybe the only reason why He wants this for me is because he knows my weaknesses and failings as a mother. Maybe he knows I that will not thrive if he were to expect me to give my heart, mind and soul to the minute by minute duties of motherhood. And if that is the case, maybe he is working some magic and turning my weakness into a strength and that my strength will be to be whatever he wants me to be as a qualified person in my community in whatever post I'm being led to.
I know that I'm not the only woman in the church who is being led by God to do something different than what the church leaders are preaching so heavily over the pulpits. I'm not questioning that the ideal role of women is that they should be what the leaders of the church say. Maybe that is God's will for the majority of the women of the church. But I know that its not his will for me and for other people like me. When it comes down to following the leaders of the church, or following clear directions given by God, I choose to follow God's direction, knowing that even the church leaders give room for exceptions and believe that personal revelation trumps leader's direction (even commandments for that matter: think Lehi killing Laban). It appears to me that somehow, there will be some good, though maybe not as extreme as saving a whole nation from dwindling and perishing in unbelief, but that I will do something that Heavenly Father is wanting me to accomplish by being an "non-traditional" woman in the church.
It can be difficult to feel judged and scorned by fellow members of the church as I am doing all I can to follow God's will for me. I feel that people are judging me on outward appearances without knowing my heart or direction that I have been given that is specifically tailored to me and my situation. Because I feel this frustration, confusion, uncertainty, discomfort in the church based on my own experiences, I have gained empathy for the women of the church who have faced much more opposition, judgement, harshness that I have in regards to their choices to be the non-traditional Mormon woman.
Because I feel a disconnect between God's plan for me and what the church is telling me, I know that other women are struggling and suffering under the strain of trying to negotiate that gap. I'll say its for that reason why women's role in the church are something I feel like I need to address (and it helps that Heavenly Father has confirmed this is what he wants me to be doing). Its an attempt to protect myself from hostility that may be coming in the future, to help me feel more at home and accepted in the church and to provide those same comforts and assurances to other women in the church as well. '
In the new organizations, LDS WAVE (www.ldswave.org/our-mission) that I am more interested and concerned about the social justice activities. In the organization of roles for each member of the board, the social justice section has been assigned to me. Everyone here knows that is my passion and a major frustration I have with the church. We are told to be actively involved in our communities, we have a wealth of knowledge and information on addressing social issues which the Humanitarian efforts of the church do not address and then we are discouraged when we attempt to organize those efforts in our wards and Relief Societies. I have had to look outside the church to fulfill that desire and to follow that spiritual guidance and I'm hoping that through my efforts with WAVE that I will be able to combine my love and knowledge of the gospel with my desire to serve in social justice and women' issues.
I'm also very energized by the thought that we will be helping to further the aims of the church of preaching the gospel and perfecting the saints through hopefully attracting positive press and admiration for the women of the church who are following in the footsteps of Eliza R. Snow and Emmeline B. Wells and Zina Huntington Young; and showing the world and the women who are struggling in the church that Heavenly Father rejoices in women using their capabilities in broad applications that are not limited to motherhood and wifely duties.
There's a section of Proverbs that describes a woman doing just that: Proverbs 31:20-31 and many stories of women in the early days of the church in Utah did many of the same things. I don't understand why the women of today are not capable of having similar opportunities and blessings now. Reading the biographies of the Relief Society presidents was really inspiring. I am trying to emulate them and I feel that I am, with God's blessing and encouragement.
As I've gone along, I've also been amazed at how my family doesn't and hasn't suffered because of it. I know I'm trying to maintain a balancing act and I feel that with Heavenly Father's help, I've been able to do it so far (completing my master's and thesis while being a stay at home mom, being an organizer and volunteer for three time consuming non-profits, etc) and because I've been spiritually supported through all what I've experienced so far, I've gained confidence that my family and I will continue to have the help that we need to accomplish the goals of a healthy Mormon family.
Friday, July 30, 2010
How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Being Excommunicated) A Reflection
I don't often get comments on my blog, though I guess that will begin to change the more often I comment on blogs like the Exponent and Feminist Mormon Housewives. I do fill in my blog address here as my website so it really shouldn't be a surprise to me that my quiet corner is attracting guests (welcome, I will add).
On my recent post about praying to Heavenly Mother, Seth, a commenter recommended an article from the journal Dialogue entitled "How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Being Excommunicated." I bit the bullet, subscribed to an online subscription and now have free reign to search the archives and read according to my interests and where I am led. It really is exciting.
For more details beyond my shorthand notes, please read the entire article. A $25 subscription for one year of gospel study is in truth an affordable price to gain greater understanding into the scriptures and gospel. Often, one download from the site is $15, so its a good idea to save some money and get the one year access.
The basic points of the "How To Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated)" are:
An insight provided me by this article is some of the translated meanings and connotations of the Hebrew word and words associated with Asherah. The words that stood out most to me were "Sanctuary," "Holy Place," and "Holiness."
My mind whipped immediately to the inscriptions on each Latter-day Saint Temple "Holiness to the Lord, the House of the Lord" and then next to the union of male and female. A wife can be a refuge to her husband, a sanctuary from the toils and heartaches of life. It also cannot be ignored that quite literally a man can be in a woman. The thoughts are more fleeting than anything else, brief impressions that I have not done justice or perhaps even been respectful as the topic warrants, but the parallel is drawn. Perhaps, one of the reasons why the temple is such a salient feature in LDS theology because it is a symbol of our Mother in Heaven. That when we are there, our worship of Father and Mother is complete and we are literally surrounded by Her love. Though the author may not have considered this, its what my mind went to immediately upon reading that a connotation of Asherah was analogous to the temple.
The author makes some interesting points about the temple; one of which is that the ancient Israelite women worshipped Asherah by weaving fine textiles for use in the temple. Those women lucky enough to work at Deseret Distribution in the manufacture and construction of the temple garments, and clothing now have a new way of looking at their work. While a student at BYU, I had learned about job opportunities there. How amazing it would have been to have that on my list of experiences. The temple clothing is predominantly manufactured centrally and by the institution of the church but there are still items that can be made for use in the temple that does not require an official pattern. For this reason, I would suggest that sewing women's temple dresses and men's white trousers and shirts could be added to the list of ways that the everyday Latter-day Saint could show appreciation and reverence for our Mother in Heaven.
As a teenager, I took up sewing and on a trip to the fabric store, I found a pattern for a wedding dress that I was drawn to. I bought it and said that I would sew my own wedding dress and I would alter it so it could be worn in the temple on the day of my sealing and that afterward, it could be worn as my temple dress. I actually did it and now I am looking at my wedding dress in a whole new way and wonder if perhaps Mother in Heaven guided me in that instance.
I'm also getting a sense of where my "earth mama" tendencies are coming from. Since the time when I had begun seriously to consider what I wanted to do in this world, I had two goals: 1) be a wife and mother and 2) make a difference in the world through helping others. As I followed my educational path, I found my desire of helping people rested in family studies--how family processes can contribute to individual, familial, communal and societal well-being. Through becoming a mother, while at the same time completing my master's investigating public policies pertaining to the family, I discovered a new passion for birth, environmentalism and sustainability; sensing that there was a connection between a healthy earth and healthy people and that somehow birth was related (see my blog Descent into Motherhood: Connecting with Earth through Birth). The last three years of my life have been dedicated to providing a toxin free, well nourished, balanced, emotionally secure and happy childhood to my son and daughter.
On my recent post about praying to Heavenly Mother, Seth, a commenter recommended an article from the journal Dialogue entitled "How to Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Being Excommunicated." I bit the bullet, subscribed to an online subscription and now have free reign to search the archives and read according to my interests and where I am led. It really is exciting.
For more details beyond my shorthand notes, please read the entire article. A $25 subscription for one year of gospel study is in truth an affordable price to gain greater understanding into the scriptures and gospel. Often, one download from the site is $15, so its a good idea to save some money and get the one year access.
The basic points of the "How To Worship Our Mother in Heaven (Without Getting Excommunicated)" are:
1) We know Mother in Heaven's name and it is Asherah. A discussion of how that is known is included in the article.
2) There are some rules relating to her worship and they are namely:
3) There are ways to acknowledge her in everyday life and some of the suggestions are:
- No idols (those were banned with the 10 commandments, and tended to be a weakness of the Hebrews in the Old Testament)
- No public prayer as per the direction given by President Hinckley in 1991 (see my recent post).
- Name a child after Her (Asher for boy, Sophia for a girl, or even Asherah);
- Think of Her as present and part of the creation of the world; consider the Christmas tree as a symbol of her (trees were a symbol of Asherah throughout the Old Testament);
- Take part in the Jewish Earth Day (Tu Bishvat);
- View or create visual and artistic representations of her (though not to be worshipped as idols);
- Recognize and take part in fertility, childbirth and lactation as symbols of her domain and understanding;
- Consider the olive oil used in blessings as "the fruit of the tree of life" (a belief in the Jewish tradition);
- Look at the instances of the word "happiness" in the scriptures as evidence of Heavenly Mother (a word/meaning associated with the word Asherah); view instances of "wisdom" similarly;
- Study as much has been written about Asherah and keep in mind that a Jewish tradition holds that study is a form of worship (an appendix is provided by the author of the article);
- Show a greater concern for the earth and environment by learning about and participating in ways to protect it.
- Lastly, with the most emphasis, participate in the temple.
An insight provided me by this article is some of the translated meanings and connotations of the Hebrew word and words associated with Asherah. The words that stood out most to me were "Sanctuary," "Holy Place," and "Holiness."
My mind whipped immediately to the inscriptions on each Latter-day Saint Temple "Holiness to the Lord, the House of the Lord" and then next to the union of male and female. A wife can be a refuge to her husband, a sanctuary from the toils and heartaches of life. It also cannot be ignored that quite literally a man can be in a woman. The thoughts are more fleeting than anything else, brief impressions that I have not done justice or perhaps even been respectful as the topic warrants, but the parallel is drawn. Perhaps, one of the reasons why the temple is such a salient feature in LDS theology because it is a symbol of our Mother in Heaven. That when we are there, our worship of Father and Mother is complete and we are literally surrounded by Her love. Though the author may not have considered this, its what my mind went to immediately upon reading that a connotation of Asherah was analogous to the temple.
The author makes some interesting points about the temple; one of which is that the ancient Israelite women worshipped Asherah by weaving fine textiles for use in the temple. Those women lucky enough to work at Deseret Distribution in the manufacture and construction of the temple garments, and clothing now have a new way of looking at their work. While a student at BYU, I had learned about job opportunities there. How amazing it would have been to have that on my list of experiences. The temple clothing is predominantly manufactured centrally and by the institution of the church but there are still items that can be made for use in the temple that does not require an official pattern. For this reason, I would suggest that sewing women's temple dresses and men's white trousers and shirts could be added to the list of ways that the everyday Latter-day Saint could show appreciation and reverence for our Mother in Heaven.
As a teenager, I took up sewing and on a trip to the fabric store, I found a pattern for a wedding dress that I was drawn to. I bought it and said that I would sew my own wedding dress and I would alter it so it could be worn in the temple on the day of my sealing and that afterward, it could be worn as my temple dress. I actually did it and now I am looking at my wedding dress in a whole new way and wonder if perhaps Mother in Heaven guided me in that instance.
I'm also getting a sense of where my "earth mama" tendencies are coming from. Since the time when I had begun seriously to consider what I wanted to do in this world, I had two goals: 1) be a wife and mother and 2) make a difference in the world through helping others. As I followed my educational path, I found my desire of helping people rested in family studies--how family processes can contribute to individual, familial, communal and societal well-being. Through becoming a mother, while at the same time completing my master's investigating public policies pertaining to the family, I discovered a new passion for birth, environmentalism and sustainability; sensing that there was a connection between a healthy earth and healthy people and that somehow birth was related (see my blog Descent into Motherhood: Connecting with Earth through Birth). The last three years of my life have been dedicated to providing a toxin free, well nourished, balanced, emotionally secure and happy childhood to my son and daughter.
As I learned about the environmental and biochemical affects of modern life on gestation , I have been cognizant of the need I have to cleanse my body to be a healthy vessel for the children that I will bear. There is something of a spiritual nature that draws me to birth and now I am enrolled in a midwifery school and hope to someday provide the spiritual, physical and emotional support that expectant mothers crave. I strive to emulate the characteristics I envision in Heavenly Mother and become "a wise woman" in my community. If you follow my blog page on Facebook, you'll find my two favorite subjects are respecting the birthing woman and cleansing the earth from harmful bioaccumulating toxins.
If you are sensing a connection to "cleaning the earth from the blood and sins of this generation" in my efforts, you are right. I think that is what I'm trying to do. In my own small way and on behalf of women and children.
If you are sensing a connection to "cleaning the earth from the blood and sins of this generation" in my efforts, you are right. I think that is what I'm trying to do. In my own small way and on behalf of women and children.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Direction to Not Pray to Heavenly Mother
Last week I blogged about, what up until that point, was the only direction I had learned by church leaders regarding whether LDS church members should worship a Mother in Heaven as equally as they do Father in Heaven. Evidently, a more firm prohibition does exist.
I've continued my study and found this from "The Mormon Concept of a Mother in Heaven" a chapter in "Women and Authority."
In a meeting for church regional representatives n 5 April 1991, Gordon B. Hinckley, first counselor in the First Presidency, responded to reports that "here and there, prayers have been offered to our Mother in Heaven." He had searched and found "nowhere in the Standard Works an account where Jesus prayed other than to His Father in Heaven...I have looked in vain for any instance..[of] 'a prayer to our Mother in Heaven." He said he "consider[s] it inappropriate for anyone in the Church to pray to our Mother in Heaven" and instructed regional representatives to "counsel priesthood holders to be on alert for the use of this expression and to make correction where necessary. Such correction can be handled in a discreet and inoffensive way. But it should be firm and without equivocation." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "Cornerstones of Responsibility" address Regional Representative Seminar, Salt Lake City, 5 Apr. 1991, 3-4.)
Elder Orson Pratt in The Seer I from 1853 also taught we are not to worship Heavenly Mother. Although we worship the father, "For the Father of our spirits is the Head of His Household and His wives and children are required to yield the most perfect obedience to their great Head. It is lawful for the children to worship the Kind of heaven, but not the 'Queen of heaven.'...Jesus prayed to His father, and taught His disciples to do likewise; but we are nowhere taught that Jesus prayed to His Heavenly Mother."
I have to point out that both of these quotes are relying upon inference from the scriptures and do not appeal or reference an answer to prayer regarding the topic. Providing counsel and direction without prayer to know the will of God does not seem correct to me and I do not understand why a simple question as "Father in Heaven, is it correct for members of thy church to pray to thee and thy queen?" could not be asked.
It also must be mentioned that both President Hinckley and Elder Pratt are referring to scriptures that are openly acknowledged as not complete, having "many plain and precious truths taken" from them and also being in many cases translated incorrectly due to "the interpolations of men." It seems a weak argument to say that because it is missing from our scriptures that no evidence exists.
Another hypothesis is that when Christ was praying to his Father, that he knew in his heart and mind that his Mother in Heaven also heard his prayers and without openly acknowledging with his words that he was praying to both his parents, that he indeed was.
All of that is conjecture and my attempt to point out the possibilities and should not be taken as statements of belief or perceived as truth. I'm glad that I continued my study to know what has been taught regarding worship of God the Father's equal and partner without first going forward in including her in my prayers.
I've continued my study and found this from "The Mormon Concept of a Mother in Heaven" a chapter in "Women and Authority."
In a meeting for church regional representatives n 5 April 1991, Gordon B. Hinckley, first counselor in the First Presidency, responded to reports that "here and there, prayers have been offered to our Mother in Heaven." He had searched and found "nowhere in the Standard Works an account where Jesus prayed other than to His Father in Heaven...I have looked in vain for any instance..[of] 'a prayer to our Mother in Heaven." He said he "consider[s] it inappropriate for anyone in the Church to pray to our Mother in Heaven" and instructed regional representatives to "counsel priesthood holders to be on alert for the use of this expression and to make correction where necessary. Such correction can be handled in a discreet and inoffensive way. But it should be firm and without equivocation." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "Cornerstones of Responsibility" address Regional Representative Seminar, Salt Lake City, 5 Apr. 1991, 3-4.)
Elder Orson Pratt in The Seer I from 1853 also taught we are not to worship Heavenly Mother. Although we worship the father, "For the Father of our spirits is the Head of His Household and His wives and children are required to yield the most perfect obedience to their great Head. It is lawful for the children to worship the Kind of heaven, but not the 'Queen of heaven.'...Jesus prayed to His father, and taught His disciples to do likewise; but we are nowhere taught that Jesus prayed to His Heavenly Mother."
I have to point out that both of these quotes are relying upon inference from the scriptures and do not appeal or reference an answer to prayer regarding the topic. Providing counsel and direction without prayer to know the will of God does not seem correct to me and I do not understand why a simple question as "Father in Heaven, is it correct for members of thy church to pray to thee and thy queen?" could not be asked.
It also must be mentioned that both President Hinckley and Elder Pratt are referring to scriptures that are openly acknowledged as not complete, having "many plain and precious truths taken" from them and also being in many cases translated incorrectly due to "the interpolations of men." It seems a weak argument to say that because it is missing from our scriptures that no evidence exists.
Another hypothesis is that when Christ was praying to his Father, that he knew in his heart and mind that his Mother in Heaven also heard his prayers and without openly acknowledging with his words that he was praying to both his parents, that he indeed was.
All of that is conjecture and my attempt to point out the possibilities and should not be taken as statements of belief or perceived as truth. I'm glad that I continued my study to know what has been taught regarding worship of God the Father's equal and partner without first going forward in including her in my prayers.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Does being a Mormon Feminist make me an oxymoron?
I'm getting into the world of Mormon feminism. It started with my work as a birth activist when Henci Goer, author and activist, said to me, "That's a feminist argument. Can Mormons be feminist?"
"I guess so. I don't know any but watch me be one," I replied.
Parallel to that, I was on a quest to understand Mormon women's predominant views on childbirth and why the majority of Mormon women heeded the "trust your doctor" advice. I have things to say about that, of course. But it was through Henci's question that I started looking to Mormon organizations that were working on social justice issues and Mormon Women's organizations to see if there were other LDS writers on childbirth issues. I started following the blogs at Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent.
I was thrown headlong into Mormon Feminism with this post from Jessawhy at Exponent. I jumped at the idea because it seemed like what I was looking for: a platform for LDS women to address issues of social injustice that they saw through out the world and a way for LDS women to work together to promote the civic policies that would be supported by the LDS Church (which were my educational and professional activities developed at BYU).
I've been working with organization since. It is in its formative stages still. Through my involvement with that organization, not only have I met a number of Mormon Feminists, I've found that there is a legacy of Mormon Feminism that started in the very beginnings of the LDS Church. Its become apparent to me that its a good idea to know this legacy and to learn more about it.
The first book I'm starting with on this topic is an anthology of articles called "Women and Authority: Re-emerging Mormon Feminism." From the table of contents and reviews I've read, it covers analysis of church policy in relation to Heavenly Mother as well as priesthood authority and women's roles in the church. For me, I'm seeking to understand where other women are coming from in their thoughts and desires relating to these issues and I'm finding that I am beginning to care to know the answers for myself as well.
The first thing that struck me from reading Women and Authority is the following passage:
This crystalizes for me what I have been pondering as I've attended the temple recently. The language for women having an expanded role in the priesthood is there in the wording of the endowment ceremony. The historical legacy of feminist women in the early church is also there as I learned from reading biographies of the early presidents of the Relief Society.
I'm learning that some major shift happened in the church between then and now where it is no longer acceptable for women to act in the same ways that they did in the late 1800's. Additionally, this shift took place quietly and is marginalized in the history of the church. It is this combination that is upsetting to me.
I do know that given what I have learned regarding women giving blessings of healing, having greater autonomy in the Relief Society organization in the past and their role today as ordinance workers in the temple, that there is more that women can and maybe should be doing in the church today. I have sensed in the past that I as a woman in the church is held back from doing what I feel led to do and I'm realizing the background and history that is going into that.
At this point, I am honestly seeking to understand why this shutting out of women from the priesthood has occurred and to ask honestly and earnestly if the time is coming for when that will be changed.
"I guess so. I don't know any but watch me be one," I replied.
Parallel to that, I was on a quest to understand Mormon women's predominant views on childbirth and why the majority of Mormon women heeded the "trust your doctor" advice. I have things to say about that, of course. But it was through Henci's question that I started looking to Mormon organizations that were working on social justice issues and Mormon Women's organizations to see if there were other LDS writers on childbirth issues. I started following the blogs at Feminist Mormon Housewives and Exponent.
I was thrown headlong into Mormon Feminism with this post from Jessawhy at Exponent. I jumped at the idea because it seemed like what I was looking for: a platform for LDS women to address issues of social injustice that they saw through out the world and a way for LDS women to work together to promote the civic policies that would be supported by the LDS Church (which were my educational and professional activities developed at BYU).
I've been working with organization since. It is in its formative stages still. Through my involvement with that organization, not only have I met a number of Mormon Feminists, I've found that there is a legacy of Mormon Feminism that started in the very beginnings of the LDS Church. Its become apparent to me that its a good idea to know this legacy and to learn more about it.
The first book I'm starting with on this topic is an anthology of articles called "Women and Authority: Re-emerging Mormon Feminism." From the table of contents and reviews I've read, it covers analysis of church policy in relation to Heavenly Mother as well as priesthood authority and women's roles in the church. For me, I'm seeking to understand where other women are coming from in their thoughts and desires relating to these issues and I'm finding that I am beginning to care to know the answers for myself as well.
The first thing that struck me from reading Women and Authority is the following passage:
There are different ways Mormon women and men receive access to priesthood power; through the baptismal covenant with Christ and gifts of the spirit; setting apart or ordination to various church positions; through the temple endowment and through temple marriage. Currently permission to use this priesthood is granted in full to men (through ordination to a priesthood office) and in limited form to women through setting apart to a church position. Priesthood discussions in this book focus on the temple endowment as the means of conferral of priesthood to women.
Historically in nineteenth-century Mormonism, priesthood offices have been conferred only to men; yet priesthood power and ordinances were administered by both women and men. After the turn of the century women's exercise of priesthood was discouraged and ultimately revoked, while men's priesthood was expanded. If the momentum of women's nineteenth-century priesthood had been maintained, women might have been fully included in the priesthood correlation program and perhaps would be fully able to exercise their priesthood power today.
Activation of women's priesthood power has been suggested by many Mormon feminists over the past decade. if this were to happen, women might not sense possession of something new but rather a loosening of bonds, perhaps a freedom to use something they have always had, or a spiritual liberation.
This crystalizes for me what I have been pondering as I've attended the temple recently. The language for women having an expanded role in the priesthood is there in the wording of the endowment ceremony. The historical legacy of feminist women in the early church is also there as I learned from reading biographies of the early presidents of the Relief Society.
I'm learning that some major shift happened in the church between then and now where it is no longer acceptable for women to act in the same ways that they did in the late 1800's. Additionally, this shift took place quietly and is marginalized in the history of the church. It is this combination that is upsetting to me.
I do know that given what I have learned regarding women giving blessings of healing, having greater autonomy in the Relief Society organization in the past and their role today as ordinance workers in the temple, that there is more that women can and maybe should be doing in the church today. I have sensed in the past that I as a woman in the church is held back from doing what I feel led to do and I'm realizing the background and history that is going into that.
At this point, I am honestly seeking to understand why this shutting out of women from the priesthood has occurred and to ask honestly and earnestly if the time is coming for when that will be changed.
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