Lessons from King Benjamin

My son has shown us that he really likes being told scripture stories at night as we cuddle before at bedtime. He prefers it to reading scriptures out-loud (though I was really liking the idea proposed by Sister Wixom's General Conference talk). Our nightly scripture story has become kind of like those "Pick Your Adventure" books. After a series of questions, he'll let me know which book and often which person he wants the story to be about. Lately, its from the Book of Mormon and we've settled into Kind Benjamin's famous discourse in Mosiah.

We got started with Mosiah 2:17:

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

Which shows you, that basically, when I tell a scripture story I'm describing a principle and the context in which that principle was given. Each one becomes a lesson.

Next from Mosiah, we talked about the responsibility of the wealthy and those who have more than others to give to those who have less (from Mosiah 4:21).

There are so many other lessons that can be given and stories that can be told. I need to prepare myself for the next few nights with stories on hand. If I were to pick the principles that I most want to share with my young son, I would probably cover the following:

Especially Mosiah 4: 14 and 15

14 And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the devil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

15 But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.

Then, using verse 16, I can teach the vocabulary word "succor" and the importance of meeting the needs of those who are suffering. It should be tied into the baptismal covenant as well.

I love the concept taught in Mosiah 2:19 as it gives the unique perspective of God as Heavenly King. This seems like an appropriate time to describe Heavenly Mother as our Heavenly Queen as well. Then, of course, to emphasize the importance of gratitude for our needs being met and our blessings.

It seems appropriate to tell the story that King Benjamin prophesied about the coming of Christ in Mosiah 3:5. as well as described Christ's actions in his life and testified of his Atonement.

My son has heard it described before that as a little child he cannot sin or be held accountable for the mistakes he makes, and King Benjamin is also one of the sources for that teaching in Mosiah 3: 16.

I would use verse 19 as it describes the attributes of a child "submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things..." but in my experience, that is not this child and it makes me wonder what those parents had to do to that child to make them that way. Certainly, my child does not come by these attributes naturally, though he is learning (and I'm learning too how to model it).

The subject of trust is a big one in our house since my son is not very trusting and its something that we would like to encourage. Verse 6 in chapter 4 emphasizes the need for the children of men to put their trust in the Lord and be diligent in keeping his commandments.

I also especially love verse 9 and see this as another situation where I can relate the verse to Mother in Heaven as well. I can encourage my son to "believe in God, believe that they are, and that they created all things...and that they have all wisdom and all power." It is also an opportunity to teach him of the promise that someday we too will receive all that they have, and be able to share that knowledge of what they comprehend.

So far that eight more nights of King Benjamin lessons and stories. We'll see if we can cover them all or if my son will be ready to move onto some new part of the scriptures.

As you can tell, I am focussing on the positive in these accounts and on what concrete actions can be taken. Given that he is 4, and that is how children learn (and that there is plenty of fire and brimstone in these chapters as well as debasing of the individual), I recognize that I must keep these stories developmentally appropriate so he sees that he is capable of learning and doing what is right to the greatest extent of his ability now.

I'm excited to see how long we can stretch this out. Truly the King Benjamin chapters are a favorite of mine in the Book of Mormon. (Lehi's vision is my favorite and that has already been a topic of FHE and scripture stories).

There's scripture study and then there is this...

This is Willem's new favorite book. And because its highly engineered paper art, we keep it high on the shelf and only pull it down when he requests and quite honestly it never leaves my hands.

It depicts the stories from Genesis: the creation, the Garden of Eden, Noah and the Ark, the Tower of Babel, Jacob's dream of the ladder to heaven, and Joseph in Egypt. The artwork is beautiful and the information is overwhelming honestly. It has fold out books that discuss the artwork on the page, as well as other famous works of the same story. It also has background information into that story of the Bible, with verses and summarizes of the book. We have not been able to explore it completely because its for a maturer level than Willem at his 3-almost-4 years of age.

He has been getting a great deal of out of it, however.

Tonight, we looked at it for scripture study and I discovered that its the best scripture study I've experienced with him. Its 3-D, its concrete, visual, tactile, truly perfect for young cognition.

While looking at the page for the creation, Willem picked which days he wanted to read about. Under each pop-up image of the day, there is a tab you can pull out to read the verses from Genesis. Tonight, he chose separating the light from the darkness and the creation of the animals. When reading about the greater and lesser lights, we asked him if he knew what that meant.

Me: "What does 'the greater light to rule the day' mean? What is that?"
Willem: The Sun
Me: "What does 'the lesser light to rule the night' mean? What is that?"
Willem: The Moon

How's that for language arts and beginning to understand metaphor!

Next on the page for the Garden of Eden,  we asked what the story was about and he tried to explain that it was something about eating the fruit. That's a good start. I asked him if he knew what would happen if they ate the fruit, he didn't know so we talked about what the phrase "and ye shall surely die" means. I told him that I don't think it means that Adam and Eve would die instantly after eating the fruit. Its not like it was going to make them sick and kill them, but that it meant that they would leave the garden and be subject to mortality. They would live, learn, grow old and die as a consequence of eating the fruit.

I asked him which one he would pick: Would he eat the fruit and leave the garden or would he want to stay?

Such a proud mommy moment when he said he would choose to eat the fruit to leave the garden. My son would make the courageous choice that Eve made!

I then asked him what choice he thought Adam made. Did Adam eat the fruit so he could stay with Eve or did he stay? He got that answer wrong but we were then able to explain how Adam did the best he could to be obedient to God's commandment so he chose to eat the fruit to stay with Eve. He chose to break one commandment in order to keep another, otherwise, Eve would have been alone in the world and that's not the way to make babies...

But my favorite part was when we came to the page with the Tower of Bable. He started telling my husband the story of how the people built the tower to get close to God and then he said, "But they didn't need to build a tower, they needed to pray to God."

My husband and I beamed at each other on that one. I then asked a question that I was hesitant to ask because I really didn't want him to feel led into answering a certain way, but I felt it was right to ask and I also know that he's so without guile that he will answer honestly. I asked him if he felt that he was close to God when he prays and he said yes.

This is progress because I have asked at other times and bore my testimony to him of prayer on other occasions and in the past he has seemed skeptical. I have been careful to not force my beliefs on him or to expect certain answers but to encourage him to be honest with me about what he feels is right. I hope this is an example of that.

I want more than anything for the Spirit to teach him and not for him to learn the "right" answers by parroting what we say or teach him. And so often, the challenge for that with young child is through teaching in a developmentally appropriate manner. It is very hard to teach in the way that children learn abstract concepts like God, Spirit and the past. If its not right here, right now, in front of them in a way they can touch and interact with, it will be difficult for them to learn and understand. That is my biggest challenge as a mother and a preschool teacher teaching the gospel to my young children and any time I can find something that is meets that criteria, I am happy for it.

This also seems like a good time to mention this set that I have seen: a fantastic bible felt board set with 600 peices or something. Willem is almost the age where this would be a great resource for Family Home Evenings and reading the Bible as a family for scripture study. If only there was a set for the Book of Mormon...

Teaching children as the Lord teaches us

"Another scripture which has proved helpful many times is Abraham 4:18. I found this scripture while wondering how I could give instructions to my children and have them obey me. Just asking my 5-year-old and 3-year-old to go tidy up their room wasn’t working. “And the Gods watched those things which they had ordered until they obeyed.” I realized that for children that young, I actually had to watch them obey, and encourage them along the way. That was a very helpful insight which led to one of my parenting hints (I keep a list for myself inside the cupboard): “Never make a request unless you are willing to help them follow through.” Sometimes children just cannot obey without a little help from a parent. Happily, this gets better as time goes on. I don’t need to watch my older girls clean up their room, but I do follow up with them, always." Rebecca Hendrickson

A valuable lesson for me as a parent. How much frustration is there when I tell my child to do something, expect to get it done and then ignore the process they go through to either do, or try to do it just to find that it didn't work?

It shows you care and you are supportive and available to grant assistance when it can be useful. It relates to how God when we do all we can do and then he steps in to make up our lack or give us the inspiration and spiritual teaching that we would not have gained if not for divine intervention (2 Nephi 25: 23).

I'm pretty good at it but this lesson helps me not doubt my intuition as a parent. Not only will learning this insight help me remember my duty to supervise and be available for assistance more than I am, it gives me a sense of confidence in what I've been doing--that I'm actually getting something right.

This lesson has also helped me in feeling better about how I've been relating to my mother recently. She has been struggling in learning to care for herself after a stroke that required her to relearn to walk. I have been helping and having me close by knowing that I'm aware of her challenges is accomplishing a task and nearby to provide assistance if needed is very comforting. I'm glad I can provide that comfort because I know how much I value having that assurance coming from the Spirit.